• HOME
  • About the Book
  • Buy
  • Reviews
  • Read an Excerpt
  • Tell Me Your Story
  • Blog
  • Contact & Meet the Author
  • Videos+Podcasts
Selling Dead People's Things
  • HOME
  • About the Book
  • Buy
  • Reviews
  • Read an Excerpt
  • Tell Me Your Story
  • Blog
  • Contact & Meet the Author
  • Videos+Podcasts
BlogMemoirResaleVintage

Northwestern University: Sex Demo, Nude Modeling Or Just An Excuse To Get Naked?

Posted onJanuary 1, 2017April 16, 2018

by Duane Scott Cerny

A few years back, the brewhaha on Northwestern University Campus blew a hole into Evanston, Illinois as old as titillation itself. Maybe you were hiding in an adult bookstore at the time and didn’t hear about the “power tool sex toy” that was demonstrated in an optional after-class session on “Human Sexuality” conducted by Professor Michael Bailey.

100 students “opted in” to the demonstration and the reviews were, well, mixed. Some female students complained, some male students asked if there would be further study required at their local Home Depot. (No homework or extra credit?)

Professor Bailey did offer an apology, insisting that “no live sex acts” were ever performed. At least he didn’t have to claim, “I did not have sex with that woman, Miss Ace Hardware.”

Some alumni, of course, were shocked. In their day seeing a tight sweater lean over a petri dish was about as hot as their college days ever got. Others alums were disappointed that the demonstration was only available to students currently enrolled. Many people asked if there was a home school option.

Over the course of the fracas, Professor Bailey and the University released a total of five different statements ranging from research to apology, from foreplay to full penetration “oops”… but only after smoking a cigarette or two.

But the best response was from University President Morton Shapiro whose comments reinforced the University’s commitment to research in many fields, especially Alzheimer’s disease.

WTF?  Something tells me this is one course that Grandpa WILL NOT be forgetting to attend. And if there ever is a “next time,” perhaps the University can be certain there’s enough handicapped seating for the entire nursing home: that’s where all the Cialis-induced action is happening these days, right? Or so I’m old… er told.

Clearly this is the 21st Century scenario of the Nude Modeling session gone bad. But power tools?  Seriously? Even “This Old House” hasn’t stooped this low… and they remodel stoops all the time.

Still I must give credit to those responsible Northwestern students who sat there with pencils in hand, eager to learn. That no one took out their cell phone to capture this lusty lesson plan speaks to the dedication of these students and the seriousness of their studies. Or perhaps the University just has really lousy WIFI.

Copyright 2016

Previous Article Winchester Mystery House: Sarah, The Ghost of a Souvenir
Next Article Ethel Merman Or Mermaid? Dinosaurs To Dead Gunslingers: Unnatural Roadside Distractions

Related Posts

  • Introduction to “Selling Dead People’s Thing: Inexplicably True Tales, A Vintage Memoir”

    April 21, 2019
  • People, Not Objects: A Review of “Selling Dead People’s Things”… By Christina Zawadiwsky

    September 15, 2018
  • Now Available On Amazon

    May 22, 2018

New Book Available Now!

Vintage Confidential: Retro Rattled, Tales Tattled— Confessions of the World’s Third Oldest Profession

Selling Dead People’s Things Audio Book Available Now!

Selling Dead People's Things Audio Book Available Now!

Join The Email List

Meet the Author

Duane Scott CernyGraduating from Northeastern Illinois University on a poetry scholarship (crazy, right?), I stumbled from one soon-to-be-going-out-of-business employer to the next. Finally, I decided to try to fail in my own self-employment, founding a small legal word processing firm. Surprisingly, it was a success. CONTINUE

Random Posts

  • Titanic’s Belfast Museum: Some Thoughts on 9/11
  • You’re Getting Busy, Very Busy: 7 Surprisingly Satisfying House Cleaning Tips For The Exceedingly Lazy
  • Back From The Dead: Zombies of Vintage Technology
BabyBoomer.org – Bookshelf: Books By and For Baby Boomers
youtube facebook twitter pinterest
Selling Dead People's Things